23 Hard Lessons from 2023
Year 2023 had been a challenging year both physically and mentally and more emotionally. The month of July being the lowest on the measuring scale. Its a year to July and I am hence writing the post in July. Here are the 23 lessons:
Lesson 1: Physical health
I had lost my appetite and 12 kgs from Jan to Jul 2023. I could not eat my favourite foods as well. Disturbed sleep, too much workload added to it. I realised that I was indirectly responsible for skipping breakfast which eventually led to such poor health. I started eating with friends who really looked in what am I really eating and whether it's in adequate amount. The crux is that our body needs attention post 30 years of age. Regular walks, proper intake of essential nutrients, annual health check-up should be our priority.
Those who really love and care, happiness or sorrow, they will always be there. I had learnt this very well during my downfall. A lot of friends will wish you on birthdays, professional success, etc. There will be only a few who would not just give a helping hand to pick you up from a puddle of mess, will wait patiently for you to be ready to get out of the mess. They will always be there to help you bounce back.
Be it overthinking, over caring, overanalyzing, overworking, etc. These are stress gainers and getting over these bad habits is not easy but I have started the process of improvement. Whenever I had taken every possible step to avoid things, those have happened. I have realised that things meant to happen will happen eventually. So what's the point in overthinking and overanalyzing! There should be a limit to care for friends, not everyone values what you do for them, not everyone deserves what you do for them. So I have set boundaries for myself from getting into the over caring mode.
You start losing your worth, be it office or home. People as well as family members start taking you for granted, they feel you are hopeless, stuck in your comfort zone, dependent, etc. And here starts the process of becoming a doormat. I am in process of changing the same.
Never make new friends while you are desperately missing your old friends. You will definitely end up in a mess. It's like you were hungry, opened the fridge, grabbed whatever you could eat to satiate hunger. Make friends in a slow pace, get to know the individuals, do not just fit in to be part of a group. I was blessed to be a part of amazing groups till 2022. I made a wrong choice in 2023, they played me and I got played. I have learnt my lesson now for life and I am immensely grateful for the true friends I am blessed, to help me out of the mess.
I had been addicted to WhatsApp chating, Insta reels, Facebook pages, etc. There will always be good and not so good content to watch and scroll it on. We need to be mindful of what content we choose. I changed my habits last Dec. I still write on blogger and that is the only channel through which I am now sharing my personal stories. I stopped insta uploads and fb uploads. Whether you accept it or not, the mind goes into comparing self with others on personal journey and number of likes and views. I have instead invested time in LinkedIn Learning, travel videos and podcast.
It helped me gain confidence that I am still good at a few things in life. I couldn't write anything for Jan 2023 to Jul 2023. But I started it again in Aug. We should keep doing what we love to do, not everyone is blessed with unique skills. And if you have one, why waste!
Lesson 9: Learn something new
Be it cooking a new dish or cooking a dish with a new technique. I knew the basics of photography, learnt some advanced techniques of capturing images. Similarly for calligraphy. It's food for the brain.
Loving your own self is so much important. I realised this when I had lost myself in the chaos of 2023. I take care of myself, make time to do things I love to, be it a hobby or just walking in the garden. I have started talking positively with self. It's not a one time thing, it's should be a daily habit. Of course we forget ourselves in the daily routine, we need to set reminder initially. Once you start seeing the positive changes, you will willingly do it thereafter.
I had compromised on my values in the name of friendship and empathy. It was too late to realise that people can play with your emotions to any extent. Trust and Loyalty are non negotiable for me. Do not trust people whose actions differ from their words. And if they get into the justification mode, it's clearly a red flag that they are manipulating you into believing they are correct. Having said that, do not refrain from trusting people. Just be careful. Honesty is the best policy for me and I always speak the truth no matter what the consequences will lead to. I had got burnt being brutally honest and true to myself. I will still standby my values.
Lesson 12: Change is the only constant
It applies for self as well as others. Bring a positive change in youself everyday. Also remember that people change with seasons and people change for reasons. Learn to accept the change. Avoid people whose changing behaviour is unacceptable to you and your mental peace.
Lesson 13: Gratitude is the best attitude
Be grateful for all that you have rather than complain for all that you miss in life. Saying a thank you can bring smile on someone's face, make someone's day. Be grateful for those who helped you out in difficult situations, they have selflessly given their time and energy. Be one-time grateful to even those whose had put you in difficult situations, for they have taught you hard lessons for life.
Lesson 14: Celebrate joys as well as failures
I am not saying work hard and party harder. I celebrated my first solo tour with unknown crowd, mountain trek, etc. I started celebrating things I couldn't do, for atleast trying those and failing. One major thing is yet to be tested here. I know failure is inevitable and will be the stepping stone on my success journey.
Lesson 15: Fantasy and Reality
I have spent half of my life being single, manifesting for a soulmate. Things never changed till date. So I have decided not to dwell on dreams and forget to live. By now, I should own a house or atleast independently stay in a rented one. I had enough dreaming, manifesting, wishing (begging) for a soulmate. I had enough wasting my time in searching someone who I am not even aware of really exists! Have been through life so far, I am enough to manage ahead as well. If God wishes or his timings have matched for me, I am grateful to welcome a soulmate. Provided the timings are within my date of expiry on earth. I do not want God to say this in my afterlife that why did I waste my time searching someone while he had sent me on earth to enjoy solo and yolo.
Lesson 16: Self worth
Be valuable, not available! Have priorities in life, personal as well as professional. People cannot just walkup to you and get their things done. You need to set healthy boundaries for doing work, smart work and not donkey work! There will be monkeys ready to jump on your shoulder and scratch your head. You should learn to shed off such monkeys, even if one of them suppose to be your manager. You deserve to be respected and happy.
Lesson 17: Self Dating
I am an introvert who loves and prioritizes me time. I like spending time with self at cafes, Mcds, malls, movies, etc. Last year had been lonely and being in a wrong group for half of it, I had lost the confidence of being alone. This year I started the self dates again. Recent one was at PizzaHut for successfully completing a hike in the Himalayas!
Lesson 18: Choose to be Quiet instead of Fight
I give my best to be true to my friendships, always support them. I have accepted friends the way they are, tried to make them better, stopped them bluntly from getting into bad. I will fight for their betterment, even when the friendship is at stake. But once I realise that it's not worth fighting for, I lose the battle quietly and walk away forever. My doors are permanently closed. Even if I happen to open those for the sake of humanity, it would be helping just another stranger at my doorstep.
Lesson 19: Attachments and Letting Go
I am super attached for places, people, things I buy, things I am gifted, etc. This quality is such an hindrance to let go of things which no longer serve purpose and are only creating blocks. Off late I have started donating clothes and books. I put a lot of efforts into holding people in my life, chasing them like butterflies, and it had resulted in people running away. Tough learning was that people come in your life for a reason or a season. Those who have chosen to leave you, have done their part, say goodbye to them with a smile (optional).
Lesson 20: Ask for Help
Help will be given to those who deserve it! It gets a bit embarrassing to ask for help to close and true friends, especially when it's personal. We must believe the fact that since these are true friends, they would rather help than being judgemental. I tried solving my breakdown on own, but failed everytime, till it became so worse to question my survival for life. It's never too late to ask for help. The important thing is that when your trustworthy friends are helping you out, just listen and blindly follow what they say for the initial phase. Saying from my experience, you will see positive changes.
Lesson 21: Unrealistic expectations
Expectation kills! The process of improvement is slow but steady. You need to consistently put efforts in moving forward. I had been hard on myself for seeing very less progress. I have realised that falling from a great height is one shot, but climbing again is step by step only.
Lesson 22: Harmony between the brain and heart
The heart is not always right, it can be fooled by empathetic emotions. The brain is not always right, it can have incorrect factual data. So both heart and brain need to do a mutual realistic check on facts and emotions before making a decision. We do make wrong decisions, these are meant to teach us.
Lesson 23: You Only Live Once
So what do you want to live for, achieving your dreams or wasting your life here and there!
Comments
Post a Comment